LD

Took this pic of LD this morning while we were out in the drizzly cold rain. He didn't care about the weather, he was just happy to be outside on his favorite new toy! You know every boy must have one! He's also the proud owner of a new Radio Flyer Racer, too! Anyway, we're still having problems with LD waking up in the middle of the night. We love to cuddle with him but not at 2am. He howls when we try to soothe him in his crib and he will not be consoled unless one of us sits with him and rocks him. Last night he was awake from 1:35am to 2:44am and most of that time he was in my lap. We're trying to switch him over to soothing himself but it's not working very well. Frustrating, especially for hubby, since he's the one who can calm LD down the most successfully. Poor man, he had to go in early today so he could leave early tomorrow and he overslept. He NEVER does that! He was just so tired. We're getting our collective asses kicked by this sleep problem LD is having. Anyway, I'm off to find some bulky tweeds for my next tam! Ciao and Happy Knitting!

New Projects

Well I started (and finished) a new project today. It was remarkably easy to do! And it was my first tam. It is full of errors but I love it! You can tell by the second picture that the ribbed brim didn't work so well. I had to thread some yarn through and make a pull tie to tighten the tam to my head. I just tuck the loose ends underneath and it seems to work quite well! Anyway, I used needles that were too big and didn't bother to compensate for them. The pattern indicated it was sized for a small woman's head so I thought I'd just increase the needle size by a 1/2 size and it would all work out. I wouldn't gift this to anyone, but I'll be very happy wearing it myself!


I still have that hat and baby sweater to finish but I'm thinking I might make some more tams. I might even try a Fair Isle pattern - but I think it might be beyond my meager skills! I should just stick with this simply bulky yarn pattern and perfect it first. Then move on to more complicated patterns.

I'd love to find patterns of knitwear from The Golden Compass. Here are some still shots from the movie...aren't the clothes fabulous??

Well enough for now, my bed is calling me. LD has been a challenge at night this week. I'm thinking he was excited for Christmas and seeing all his family together! I just wish he was so tired he would conk out for the whole night instead of waking around midnight with night terrors. Oh, the horror of trying to put this kid to bed at night. We love our cuddle time too much and I fear we are spoiling him. He absolutely refuses to soothe himself to sleep.

Ciao and Happy Knitting!

Turkeys

We've been inundated with turkeys! We think two separate flocks, one at least 20 large, and the other about 8 or so. We have these ancient crabapple trees on top of a hill in our front yard and the birds are after the fruit. It's really something to see them trying to balance their large bodies on small branches. They fan out their tailfeathers to balance themselves. And you want to talk about really stupid birds, they have absolutely no fear of humans. They'll parade down the middle of the road holding up all the cars until they've reached the place they want to go. No amount of horn blowing make them go any faster either! I'm surprised people have maintained their patience! Here's some pics of them:

On another note, we've also been having car trouble. The worst time of year for it to happen - when we have no money. What a difference in lifestyle from just a year ago...

Hubby's gone through bankruptcy and we've lost our house. Hubby switched jobs so he could be closer to home and be with us every night but the downfall is much less income. Believe me, I'd rather have him home every night at 5pm then having him call from a store 5 hrs away saying he'd be home by 10 or 11pm. Unfortunately we've had to make some painful sacrifices. It's hard on both of us and sometimes I don't think we really listen to each other any more. Not just to what we have to say to each other but how we say it. There's a lot of hurt feelings and guilty feelings. Hubby feels like he let us down by not providing enough for us to be able to keep our home. I would rather be here than where we were. He was miserable and stressed all the time. Not a good way to raise a baby. Now it's like, it is what it is - we're poor and dependant upon family to house us and there is nothing we can do about it for a long time. The most important thing is that LD is being raised in a home where everyone loves him. It is all about him after all! So now you know the last part of my story - I'm grieving our old life and our house along with the loss of our first son. LD was attacked by a dog we'd had for 10 yrs and lost part of his ear. We put the dog down and ever since we've been super protective of him. I don't want to suffocate him yet I want to protect him, too.

The anxiety attacks have been happening since the dog attack. I'd only had one prior to that and it was several months after we lost our first. Not fun in any way. They are painful and scary and I had to think that I have to depend on medication to control them. Fortunately it's not something I have to take everyday...only when I feel an attack coming on or when I'm particulary upset.

Man, I never used to be this way. I was fun to hang around with. Always up for going out and having fun. Hubby and I used to have so much fun together. I really miss that about us. And yet, as painful as the last two plus years have been, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even having to suffer through anxiety attacks every now and then. Because if I did trade it all in, I wouldn't have my LD, and he's the best part of me. (He seems to have my temper though, oops!)

Here he is modeling the headband I made for our niece for Christmas! Something I can embarass him with the first time he brings home a date!

I'm still working on that sweater and trying to finish the hat. Somehow the will to do it has slipped away. I'm probably just burnt out with all the knitting I've been doing lately. I want to just get it done so I can start some new crochet projects. I'd like to make myself a simple tam. Maybe after the Christmas craze is finished!

Ciao and Happy Knitting! It's way past my bedtime!

Miscellany

You guys have to check this out! http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1413701044 It's really funny! My best girlfriend "elfed" me and I nearly fell out of my chair laughing!

Just came home from watching "The Golden Compass." Really good movie...now I have to read the books to see what I'm missing in the movie. We saw some good trailers, too. Most of them are from books I've read, too! Looks like 2008 will be a good year in film.

Memere is watching LD this weekend. It's his first long weekend away from home and I'm already missing him. He's had overnights with Memere before but not two nights in a row. I don't know who will fare better, him or me! Probably him. He didn't even bat an eye when hubby and I left tonight.

He was such a good boy today. We had some car problems this morning and I wasn't able to go to my MOPS meeting. I was bummed, we were having our Yankee swap and Christmas party today. By the time my dad figured out what was wrong with Beatrice (my ancient GMC Jimmy) it was too late to stuff LD back into his car seat and truck across town in the snow and ice. Besides LD was happy enough to be playing outside in the snow with Grampa. Except for the stupid Walmart coat. It cut off the circulation to his hands and by the time I got him inside to warm him up he was nearly hysterical. So I proceeded to cut the ends of the sleeves. I'm a terrible seamstress but I managed to get the sleeves sewn back up so that LD could put his hands through and not get the circulation cut off. I left the velcro straps on and finagled it so I could close up the sleeves with them. MUCH much better.

Also, I finally finished the *&%$ed mittens.

And, I'm working on finishing up a baby sweater that I need to get to my friends before their daughter is too big for it.

Finally, my last two projects are another hat for the Chemo Cap Project and a scarf for my mother-in-law. Unfortunately I started both with really cheap yarn. The cotton for the hat isn't dyed very well and the threads have knots in them. If I'm careful, though, the hat will turn out well enough for someone to use as a night cap. The scarf on the other hand, I'm tempted to just frog and put off redoing until I can combine the crappy yarn with something else. I don't know. I do like the fun fur that I put on the first 4"...maybe I should rip it out to there and continue the whole scarf with the crap and fun fur together. Can you say "stole"??

Ciao and Happy Knitting!

Regular Stuff

I spent a rather frustrating several hours this afternoon after I discovered nearly half of the second mitten was messed up. I'm normally really good at stitch and row counting but this time I took for granted that I was doing the same things I did for the first mitten. *snort* I was off 2 stinking stitches and had to rip out nearly half the mitten to the thumb hole, increase by 2, and start all over again. The good news is the mitten is really quick to knit up so I didn't lose more than a couple hours of knitting. Still frustrating though.

LD and I had a quiet morning playing with his toys. Hubby and I revamped his toy box and its like he has all new toys to play with. We also spent about an hour online at the Thomas the Tank Engine website listening to the same tunes play over and over again. Hey, if it makes LD want to snuggle with me, I'll subject myself to the Teletubbies if I have to! He chowed on his peanut butter sandwich for lunch and went down for his nap with nary a wimper. After he woke up I struggled to get him bundled up (stupid Walmart jacket with the too tight sleeves) and outside for some sorely needed exercise. He loved it! He likes being pulled in his sled and he likes pulling the sled!

I'm looking forward to finally finishing this mitten so I can get started on some more projects. I have a hat started for my Chemo Cap Project that I haven't touched in a week and I'd really like to crochet a few more things for Christmas. I need to knit a winter headband for my neice and a hat for hubby. I have a scarf to finish for my mother-in-law, too. I also have this adorable bag to knit up and felt. It will be my first foray into felting. I'm really looking forward to it! It's my Christmas present to myself so I can't wait for the opportunity to get to it. I plan on doing a bunch more crocheted bookmarks, too. Here's the bag I crocheted for my neice for Christmas:


Speaking of Christmas stuff, I have some cross stitch bookmarks to do, as well. I've put all my cross stitch on hold while I endulge in my knitting. I don't know when I'll get back to my big project. It's a lovely lighthouse scene, one of the biggest ones I've done yet. It will end up being a gift for my best friend at some point. She and her husband love lighthouse scenes.

Here's a pic of LD from yesterday:

Cute, isn't he? I sure think so!!

Ciao and happy knitting!

Sunday

I had everything I wanted to write all laid out in my mind this morning on our way to church. At some point during the day, I lost it all. Every bit of it. I even had something I thought was rather profound. Apparently not profound enough to remember!

Church was good, it usually is. We've been lucky to find such a forward thinking pastor. They are pretty rare in the Baptist church. Peter is wonderful though and for the most part, a captivating preacher. He doesn't do the whole fire and brimstone routine or have a revival every Sunday. He does like to mix it up a little but somehow still manages to keep it traditional enough to satisfy the blue hairs.

I got a lovely surprise from one of the church ladies. Her daughter read about my Chemo Cap Project and sent with her 6 lovely crocheted caps! I'm so pleased! I hope others will contribute more. I now have 10 caps in my basket. I hope to add some other items in addition to the caps. Here's a pic of the contributions:

They are quite lovely...this picture doesn't do them justice. She gave a couple of them flirty brims and they look quite cute! Many thanks to my anonymous donor.

I've manage to get the second mitten half done. I admit to being behind schedule a bit. We were out most of the day today and yesterday seems to be a blur. LD doesn't make it easy either. I don't get a chance to knit or crochet during the day much. So I have to take advantage of when he goes down for his nap. And that happens to be after my chores are done. So I might get an hour to truly relax.

I sure wish I could remember what I wanted to say earlier! Anyway,

Ciao and happy knitting!

Rantings

You know, I'm getting so tired of this whole book and movie controversy surrounding the new release of The Golden Compass. Just because one group or one person gets his feathers ruffled or thinks a certain way doesn't mean we all do. Certain groups and people are saying how anti-Christian it is and that the book's author is a violent athiest out to get our children and turn them away from God and the Bible. As a Christian woman, I say that's a load of crap. I got an email today from someone in my MOPS group that really set me off for the whole afternoon. Here it is:

"There will be a new children's movie out in December called "The Golden Compass". The movie has been described as "atheism for kids" and is based on the first book of a trilogy entitled "His Dark Materials" that was written by Phillip Pullman. Pullman is a militant atheist and secular humanist who despises C.S. Lewis and the "Chronicles of Narnia". His motivation for writing this trilogy was specifically to counteract Lewis' symbolisms of Christ that are portrayed in the Narnia series.

Clearly, Pullman's main objective is to bash Christianity and promote atheism. Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "my books are about killing God". He has even stated that he wants to "kill God in the minds of children". It has been said of Pullman that he is "the writer the atheists would be praying for, if atheists prayed."

While "The Golden Compass" movie itself may seem mild and innocent, the books are a much different story. In the trilogy, a young streetwise girl becomes enmeshed in an epic struggle to ultimately defeat the oppressive forces of a senile God. Another character, an ex-nun, describes Christianity as "a very powerful and convincing mistake." In the final book, characters representing Adam and Eve eventually kill God, who at times is called YAHWEH. Each book in the trilogy gets progressively worse regarding Pullman's hatred of Jesus Christ.

"The Golden Compass" is set to premier on December 7, during the Christmas season, and will probably be heavily advertised. Promoters hope that unsuspecting parents will take their children to see the movie, that they will enjoy the movie, and that the children will want the books for Christmas.

Please consider a boycott of the movie and the books. Also, pass this information along to everyone you know. This will help to educate parents, so that they will know the agenda of the movie.

***

Whether you are Christian or not, it should be very alarming to all that someone is making attacks on a group for their sacred beliefs. Atheism is a belief system of its own and some of its adherents has an agenda of de-Christianizing society. Just a reminder that the place where the most destruction of human life has occurred is in atheistic systems such as Communism.

For example, between Stalin and Mao a total of almost 55,000,000 people died in the various communist famines and persecutions. The pride of the Communist system was its atheistic approach to controlling the people. Belief in the State and the human "leader" as supreme authority in life, not God, was their thrust. As a result, anyone in disagreement with this approach was taken care of. I know personally of a priest who had to hide his religious studies from government authorities in Communist Yugoslavia and this man knew and saw people who were killed for their religious beliefs.

What this author Pullman is trying to accomplish in his writings is a death of the human spirit in children by weakening and/or changing their belief in God. This Phillip Pullman is inciting hatred/intolerance/disgust and the like toward those in our society who have different beliefs than his by promoting this intolerance covertly in his fictional works.

This shows where atheism can lead and none of us should ever agree to support those people who deny other citizens their freedom of religion without persecution. His works are a hidden form of religious persecution. Those of other faiths other than Christian should also be concerned since atheism denies belief in any religious faith whatsoever, so that at some other point in time it can be their turn. Support others religious freedoms by boycotting the movie and book series.

Please send this on to as many people as you think would support the boycott. Let's get the word out that religious intolerance will not be tolerated under the cover of children's books designed to (in the author's own words), "kill God in the minds of children". I trust fair-minded fellow citizens everywhere will be empowered to stop this junk literature by refusing to give it commercial success."

Most people receiving this kind of hatemail haven't even read the book or done any research into the author's philosophy! How can they not judge for themselves what is right or wrong for their children. It takes a narrow minded person to accept these emails at face value without putting in the effort of researching it themselves. For me it's a censorship issue and I get so disgusted by it. In this country we have freedom of speech and we have lost many, many brave soldiers protecting that right. The same things happened with Harry Potter and The DiVinci Code, too. This "holier than thou" attitude. It's just fiction people!

Listen, I'm confident in what I believe in. I happen to know that Jesus died for my sins and by that sacrifice I've been saved. I also know I'm flawed (cracked through and through, actually) and I pray everyday that Jesus will help me make the right decisions. That He will help me keep it all together. There's one thing else I'm sure of: God gave us all free will. I'm not about to take the word of someone I don't know or some group bordering on the fanatical to make the decisions for me.

Just a thought here, as a Christian facing an atheist, shouldn't we take this opportunity to witness to them about the glories of God? How about we make it a two-way conversation and really try to find out why they don't belive in God. We may actually reach someone by being willing to listen and not judge. Judgement is God's bailiwick and best left to him. We just get ourselves into way too much trouble.

Boredom & The Past

At least it's Friday, but boredom has set in anyway. My LD and I have been trying to come up with fun things to do when it's too cold to go outside and play. He's still so little that he can't walk in 6" of snow! He gets frustrated and doesn't understand why he can't just go, go, go. So we will be doing blocks and books this afternoon before he goes down for naptime. Then, ahhhh, the freedom! Sort of, first it's laundry, then dishes, sweep the floor, and pick up toys. Then if I'm lucky I can sit down and try to knit some more on my mitten while I catch up on a show I've DVR'd. When LD wakes up, daddy should be home to take over. Then it's off to the kitchen to cook up some dinner.

If anyone ever told me that it was hard work being a stay-at-home mom and I scoffed at them I sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize! Taking care of a precocious one year old is definately fun but hard work! I wouldn't change it for the world...to anyone who's known me long enough, I'm sure that comes as a shock. As recently as 3 years ago you couldn't persuade me to have children.

Hubby and I were on the fast track. Beautiful house, nice things, weekend trips whenever we wanted to, all the trappings of a successful life. Then, BOOM, we found out we were pregnant. My first reaction was "HUH??!!" that wasn't supposed to happen. I was told I wouldn't be able to conceive without fertility drugs which, at the time, was just fine with me. I had built in birth control, or so I thought. It took me about 4 mos to just get used to the idea!

Then the second BOOM. Just before Christmas 2004 we found out that our little baby was going to be born with a life threatening birth defect called CDH. (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia). He was given a 50% chance of surviving. On top of that, I developed gestational diabetes so I had to be super strict with my diet and give myself insulin shots just to give our little guy a fighting chance.

The short version is this, I was induced at a major medical facility in MA, baby "O" was born after 72 hrs of labor and 3 hrs of pushing, he had several major surgeries, lived on ECMO for 3 weeks (heart/lung bypass machine), had dialysis for several days, and ended up contracting pneumonia. Unbelievably it was the pheumonia that killed him. He had been through so much that his poor little body just couldn't fight anymore. Ironically, he died the week before he was to be transferred to a hospital in our state.

It may have taken me a while to get used to the idea I was pregnant but believe me, once it sunk in that we were going to have a family I was all for it. We were devastated for months. I took a different job in a different town and we did all we could to patch up our lives. Coming home to a house full of baby stuff was unimaginably difficult. We just shoved it all into the nursery and closed the door for months. I would go in every now and then but hubby couldn't. The miracle we had been expecting to bring home with us was gone.

Next installment later when I can manage it. Now on to more happy thoughts! I've managed a few more inches on the second mitten and it is officially the weekend, hubby is home and LD is comfortably installed in his lap watching an old movie. So I'm off to make dinner!

Ciao and happy knitting!

First Post

I'm so excited to have finally started my own blog! Sometimes I feel I have so much to say and nowhere to say it. So here it is...the first installment of ramblings from an anxious mind.

My current knitting project is my first pair of mittens. I'm not knitting them in the round, though, and the quality has suffered. The next pair will be in the round. I think it gives the mitten a more finished look. In any case, I modified a simple knitting pattern to knit a pair for my sister-in-law. She wanted very long cuffs to keep the cold from seeping in under her coatsleeves. She can either wear them long or cuff them up. Here is a picture of the completed mitten. Its mate is on the needle and I expect to finish it this weekend.

The thumb is a little off but I think with the next pair being knit in the round it will take care of the puffy thumb.

I'm also working on a cotton chemo cap for a community project I'm working on. I haven't named it yet but I want to do a small non-profit in my area of cool knitwear for cancer patients. I'm looking for knitters or other needlepointers to contribute to a basket of hats, mittens, scarves, wrist warmers, sleep hats, etc. for our local cancer treatment center. I've already knit up several hats and wristers and hope to have a small basket ready by January. I'm looking for year round projects. Items patients can wear at any time of the year, inside or out. I hope I pick up interested knitters along the way. I've written an article for my church newsletter and it was very well received. So far, no contributions though. Any ideas, anyone?

I'm also trying my hand at crochet. I used to do it many years ago and just a couple of months ago picked it up again. I learned how to do a very simple cap that I just love! I can also convert the hat into a simple bag but turning it upside down and chaining a strap to sling it over the shoulder. I made one for my 4 year old neice as a Christmas present. I've also been making bookworms like crazy! Complete with googly eyes and all! They are so much fun to do and I think will make some great gifts for the readers in my life.

LD has been such a good boy today. He's still getting into everything but that's the nature of a 17 mo old. He's into climbing and I have to be careful or he'll climb onto end tables and stand up clapping! The first time he did this I was so surprised I scooped him right up. He thought he was doing something great! Talk about adding to the anxiety level! Here's a pic of him before our first snowstorm this past weekend.

Next time I'll have to give a little background so y'all know what's made me this anxious person that I never thought I could be.

Ciao and happy knitting!