In Memorium...

The last week has have been rough for our family. I know you've all read about my FIL's battle with diabetes and how his health had been rapidly deteriorating. He passed away on Saturday, a decision of his own choosing. It was probably the last thing he had any control over. After suffering through many indignities associated with his different diseases, he decided to not continue his dialysis. He was no longer able to sit still through a session, was in pain all the time and felt that no one was listening to him or paying attention to his needs. He needed new, expensive medications, new glasses, new hearing aids and a lot of other things. He felt he was no longer able to maintain a status quo and that he was not going to ever feel good again. Quite frankly, he was sick and tired of being sick and tired. He had lived with dialysis for over 6 years, battled with heart disease for even longer and felt he didn't have any fight left.

Once the decision was made, and they made sure it was truly what he wanted, the powers that be moved him to the Gosnell Memorial Hospice House in Scarborough on Wednesday. (An absolutely wonderful facility). He had his last meal that night, lobsters drenched in butter and lemons, and he had his last conversations with family. Everyone got a chance to say goodbye because we knew he would slip into stage 2 sooner rather than later. Thursday he slept off and on and was very sluggish. He didn't stay awake longer than 5 or 10 minutes at the most and was no longer capable of eating or drinking. He slipped into stage 2 that night. Friday he continued to sleep, fitfully. He was restless but the nurses assured us he was in no pain. I noticed when I left Friday night that his breathing was very labored and figured he would pass late that night or the next morning. He passed away at 10:25am Saturday morning, February 28th, 2009, with his family by his side.

Though he was a difficult man even when healthy and was nearly impossible when sick, we still loved him very much. He had many faults, which he admitted to, but at his request (that we remember the good times) this is what I choose to remember of him... He loved his family, he loved to fish and play cribbage and cards, he had an incredible work ethic, he was loyal, passionate and very, very intelligent. He loved his computers and over the last 10 years became quite good at them, making them a hobby he could fiddle with even when he became housebound. He was a very talented handyman and could fix nearly anything that broke down or build anything he set his mind to. Nothing he ever had a hand in making will ever fall apart! One of his favorite sayings was, "Why use a nail when you can use a screw?" I swear, our first house will rot away before it ever falls down! He always encouraged us and made sure his family would fight for what they believed in. One could disagree with him on something, but one must always be respectful about it. He was fond of telling my husband, "When I'm right, I'm right and when I'm wrong, I'm still right...because I am your father." He was, without a doubt, a force of nature.

I didn't like him a lot of the time, found him to be a pain in the butt most of the time, but I always loved him because he was my father-in-law. I know this isn't a glowing eulogy but it's not meant to be. What is important is he was loved. Rest in peace, Dad.