We Have Lift Off, Well, Poop Anyway... :)

I don't want to jinx this but I'm so happy I could cry!  Over poop, yup that's right - good old fashioned poop!  My wild man F I N A L L Y decided to poop on the potty.  This has been an on-going battle for the last 4-6 months with no success.  We tried everything.  I do mean everything - good and bad.  I've been at my wit's end over this last month trying not to pull my hair out.  I read weblogs, websites, scanned magazine articles, even contemplated buying a self-help book (horrors!) trying to figure out what we were doing wrong.  Wild man had gotten it into his head that he was going to refuse on principle, just because we so badly wanted him to.  He even made it a point to tell me this about 2 months ago.  You can't force them to do it - it has to be done in their own time - but come on!  Actually telling us he wouldn't do it because we wanted him to?  Cheeky!  I mean he's been peeing on the big potty for nearly four months with no issues - even getting so he can stand on a footstool and pee like a big boy. 

So, today, I knew he had to go.  He'd been wearing his big boy underwear and knew he couldn't poop in them like he can with his pull-ups.  He was doing the potty dance but refusing to even try.  We've taken away all his computer privileges and have been using it as an enticement for about a week.  I could tell we were wearing him down but was unprepared for how suddenly he switched!  We went in and closed the door.  He flipped out, screaming, kicking, hitting, banging on the door - I stayed perfectly calm, sat on the footstool and closed my eyes.  I ignored it all.  I thought, "I've tried everything but this."  Every so often I'd crack an eyelid and catch him watching me. When he saw me looking he'd start in on the tantrum all over again.  I finally, calmly and cooly, let him know that I was happy to talk to him about this.  He settled down and we had a little conversation.  Turns out he was scared of the big potty (as I suspected) and didn't tell us for reasons unknown.  I asked him if he'd like a little potty of his very own - one where his feet wouldn't leave the floor and he could sit and read or play his DS.  The more he thought of it the more excited he became!  I went into the garage and dug out his training potty, which is WAY TOO SMALL for him, tweaked it and fiddled with it so I could finally sit him on it and have a hole big enough to do what it's supposed to do :)  He happily sat down, turned on his DS (which was a perk he had to earn back through this whole process) and talked, sang, chitter chattered and finally, 20 minutes later, we had accomplished the deed.  He was SO happy and proud of himself!  Now he can't wait until he has to go again!  He wants to earn another privilege back and win a toy!  And, if all goes well, at the end of five consecutive days, he gets a big prize and Mummy will throw him a party complete with cake, ice cream and friends.  He says he can't wait!  So cross your fingers and PRAY really hard for us that he'll stick to his game plan.  He had a chart on the fridge reminding him of his good deed and he's looked at it at least 20 times already!  So we're happy and to top it off, I got about 10 rows done on my crochet project while we were sitting in the bathroom :)  Bonus!

Quote for the Day and a Book Review

From Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman (an excellent book - one I highly recommend):

"You might not think you're grieving, but grief comes in all sorts of ways.  There's the kind of grief that leaves you numb, and the kind of grief that rips your world in half.  And then there's another kind of grief that doesn't feel like grief at all.  It's like a tiny splinter you don't even know you have until it festers so deep it has nowhere left to go but into your soul.  I think that's the hardest kind of grief there is because you know you're hurting but you don't know why."

Fester - what a powerful word to describe this type of grief. This book was such an enjoyable read yet it dealt with the serious issue of grief and loss.  The author captured the feeling of loss so realistically I wonder if she hasn't experienced this type of loss herself.  I've looked for years for the right way to describe the grief I felt after losing Owen (my infant son).  This small paragraph encapsulates the feeling perfectly, succinctly and accurately.  This kind of grief, the festering kind, somehow only happens when we lose someone particularly close to us - a child, a parent, a spouse.  It's heartrending and yet we don't even know it's there until some action or comment pulls it out of us in great wrenching sobs.  Sometimes we push it down and let it fester because we just can't handle it at the time or we need to be strong for someone else.  It eats away at your soul until you start to realize something's wrong. I can relate - oh, boy, can I relate.

Even though this book deals with the subject of grief it is also lighthearted and funny.  Wonderful characters dot the landscape of CeeCee's young life and help her come to terms with her grief.  A lovely and elegant book, I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Hope you enjoy this wonderful, rainy day!

Motorcycle Mama

I watched some interesting CBS News footage...makes me miss riding so badly!  Can't wait for the opportunity to own a bike and ride again.

In Like a Lamb, Out Like a Lion and Poop

I guess there's some truth to the old adage!  We've had a marvelously mild March with only a few rainy exceptions and now it looks like we'll be freezing our behinds off as we say good-bye to the first month of Spring.  We were spoiled by a week of phenomenal weather - completely uncharacteristic of typical Northern New England.  We started raking tons of acorns and debris from last fall and winter, we cleaned out the wild man's sand box and brought out all his sand toys, our pot of tulips is already 8" tall, shoots of perennials are already poking their heads up and my oregano is already nearly long enough to start harvesting leaves.  We were lulled into thinking the worst of the weather was behind us...NOT so!  We awoke this morning to a delicate covering of frost and light snow (which did quickly melt but nevertheless still creates a sinking feeling in ones chest).  Wild man was desperate to play outside after lunch so we braved the icy wind and played for about 30 minutes before we both ran for the house!  It was deceptive!  The sun was shining brightly and gave the illusion of warmth yet we were shivering in our scarves and hats!  Oh, well.  After this weekend things should be looking brighter and, hopefully, feeling warmer :)

I am still working on the Reversible Scarf and making some very good progress.  I have also been scouring Ravelry and discovering all sorts of lovely yarny goodness that I can't wait to replicate!  This lovely for one.  I'm thinking about hitting my LYS for some yarn and buying up that pattern as quickly as I can.  I think it'll work up rather quickly - it's the lacy trim I may need a little coaching on :)  I'm still planning on making more crocheted baby hats - I have a ton of baby yarn perfect for that project - but I'm setting it aside for a little break from the little beanies. 

We are trying a new thing in our quest to get the Wild Man to finally poop on the potty.  It's been forever since I've blogged about family stuff so to quickly and succinctly bring you up to speed - we've been informed by our rambunctious 3.5 yr old that he's not going to poop on the potty (or blow his nose, BTW) because...get this...ready?...We Want Him To.  Are you kidding me???  He's totally serious about it too.  So we let it go thinking we've been making too big a deal out of it and that he'll come around as soon as he realizes he's the only one in his playgroup still pooping in his pull-up.  Nope, not the case.  Even his little 2.5 yr old friend (also a boy) is now pooping on the pot.  So we've regrouped.  We tried coaxing, prizes, scolding (I know, I know), encouragement, toys, stickers, trains, even offered to let him pick out his very own computer game.  Nothing.  Now we're doing it the Dr. Phil way...we've taken away his TV, access to the computer (he loves his WALL-E game), the Super Nintendo (he loves Donkey Kong Country), and DVD's.  Today was the first day and he thinks its a game.  What he doesn't realize is how serious we are about this.  I know its a control issue with him (and with us) but come on...telling us he's not going to use the potty because we want him to? Not acceptable.  He's a big boy with everything else - loves to pee standing up just like Daddy and he's too smart for his own good.  It's time for him to face the music or face the peer pressure when he goes to preschool.  I'm determined he won't be put through that shame so onward we march!  I told him tonight if he's successful at pooping on the potty for five days in a row, I'll throw him a party with cake and ice cream and he'll still be able to pick out his own computer game.  He seemed excited about it so we'll see.  Wish me luck 'cause if this fails I'm finding the nearest plank and walking it!

No Knit Night this week - bummer - but we had a lot schedule conflicts and some sickies so that's ok.  I've posted on facebook we'll be doing it again on April 8th at 7pm!

Looking forward to a quiet weekend of potty training and not much else :)  Hope you all have a safe and happy weekend!  And, as always, happy knitting!

Reflections

My current Bible study is asking me to reflect on my life in stages starting from birth on.  Since I'm (cough) 40, I have 5 stages, each spanning 8 years.  I certainly don't mind looking back on my life, I just don't have many actual memories from that first stage.  Nothing specific like what the author wants me to reflect on.  I have, I guess, hazy images and mainly an overall sense of happiness, peace and contentment.  I had no major events, no relocations, abuses, divorce, death, nothing.  So I'm find it difficult sometimes to relate to some of the things our teacher wants us to do.  I'm trying...I really am.  I want to have something that's going to jump out and grab me yet nothing so far has done that.  She means for these next sessions to have the greatest impact on us and maybe I'm a little premature in my reflecting process but so far I'm not getting much out of it.  Which is too bad because our teacher is a dynamo and has such a fire and passion for Christ.  I can't help but think that people who have had major traumas in their lives have more appreciation or deeper connections with God than those of us who have had happy childhoods and "normal" lives.  Frankly, I'm envious of the people I know who have developed an intimate relationship with God.  I keep asking, when is it going to happen to me?  I want that closeness so what is blocking me from surrendering?  Aha...that's it, isn't it.  I have to surrender.  You know, I must have forgotten to tell God I have genuine control issues!  I know He knows this and I pray all the time for my grip to loosen.  I think it is - when I look back over the last couple of years.  I know I still feel as if I'm far from surrendering but I can feel a difference stirring inside.  I'm actively trying to live by His principles and hoping, maybe a little to much, I'll absorb it all like osmosis instead of having to vocally exclaim, "I surrender, God.  I yield all that I am and all that I have to You.  Do with me what You will."  See, I can type it, I can think it...I just can't seem to bring myself to say it.  Yet, anyway.

How do you like my new look?

Thought I'd try a new look and see if that would encourage me to continue with my blog :)  I think it's going to work. I'm one of those people who needs to change the furniture around every so often and it's the same way with my blog!  I have a couple of templates I'll be playing with over the next month or so.  Let me know which ones you like the best!

I finished yet another crocheted baby hat - the count is up to 4.  They are such an easy project, it only takes an evening to do one hat.  I have enough yarn from the two skeins to make about 6 more hats, I think.  I also started a Reversible Scarf with some yarn I got from a friend this weekend.  It dates from the 1970's and is acrylic but surprisingly well textured and springy.  It was made by Dupont under the Fox Brand Yarn label.  Very cool label!  Anyway, the scarf will be long and lacy and beautiful when done!

Short post for today - hope you all had a wonderful Monday!

Stay safe and happy knitting!

What I've been up to lately...Starting with our Trip to Florida in January!

Wild Man at Ft De Soto beach.  We had a memorial service for my FIL at the end of the pier in the background.  Absolutely brilliant day except for the cold temps and vicious wind.  We still managed to collect bags and bags of gorgeous shells.  The weather was so cold the water temps had dropped disastrously and we saw many frozen dead fish on the shore.  Such a sad sight to see.

 Memere and Wild Man walking the trail at Hillsborough River State Park.  Still cold but warming up so we were half in shorts and half in coats!  A truly lovely walk in the woods.

 Memere and the Wild Man enjoying the park next to my SIL's housing community.  We had so much fun that day!  Played in the park for hours then family watched the Wild Man so Hubby and I could go enjoy a movie that evening.  We saw Avatar and were B L O W N away!  Best movie effects we've ever seen!  And the story was good, too!

 Auntie P, cousin B and the Wild Man riding the Serengeti Express at Busch Gardens.  We went there 3 times in the two weeks we visited Tampa.  Awesome place!  We had so much fun!  Each night the kids just dropped into bed and were out like lights :)

 Cousin B in a hippo at Busch Gardens :)

Wild Man riding the Ybor City trolley down to Channelside to the Florida Aquarium.  He LOVED this trolley ride so much!  He thought it was the best thing ever especially when they let him blow the horn and ring the bell!

Sitting with his favorite "Graham Cracker" Auntie S on our last night in FL.

We were truly blessed to be able to go. The Wild Man was well behaved the whole time - even while he was suffering from a really bad head cold and had a terrible cough.  He still had more energy than most of us combined!  The trip was so much fun we are hoping to do it again next January.  

On the knitting front, I've been knitting hats like mad!  I'm on my 8th knitted hat and I'm working on my 3rd crocheted baby hat.  I'm hoping to be able to donate them but Hubby thinks they are so nice we should sell them!  LOL!  I'm still all for donating them :)  I'm almost done with Hubby's sweater that should have been done 2 Christmas' ago!  I only have 2/3rd's of a sleeve left - whew!  I have my Hexie Afghan to finish up but there needs to be a purchase of more yarn in order to complete it.  In addition, I have a one lone sock waiting to be finished and it's mate, an entrelac scarf that is hibernating until I can get with someone who has entrelac experience, and several other projects on the project list.  2 more cloche style hats to be knit up with Silky Malabrigo in Spring Water green and K'acha Merino, Alpaca and Silk in gold and burgandy.  I also have a GORGEOUS pattern (yarn bought already) from Noni called Cherry Blossom Bags to knit and felt.  Ahhh...all the lovely yarnie projects have me so excited to be knitting again!

One of my girlfriends has introduced me to the pleasures of beading.  I've been spending my yarn allowance on some beautiful glass beads but I'm waffling now...I just don't think I'd rather bead than knit.  It's an expensive hobby and you need quite a few beads to make any kind of decent bracelet.  If I thought I could make a few extra dollars doing it then maybe I'd consider it.  I'm just not sold on the idea of beading yet.  At least knitting doesn't hurt my back and I don't feel as blind as I do when I'm trying to peer at my beads!  LOL! Think I'll need to invest in one of those magnifying lamps if I continue beading!

I'm not reading as much as I'd like to and that makes me rather sad.  I had a HUGE list of books I read last year and I'm afraid this year the content will be much slimmer.  I'm spending a lot of time with my Bible study and that takes up some time if I'm willing to do it right.  I'm determined that if I'm to spend the $$ on the materials and the time each week to go then I'm going to make the effort to complete the related homework and really try to be serious about it.  We're in the latter weeks of Beth Moore's Believing God series which is phenomenal and exciting.  Her passion for the Word is inspiring!  After this series ends we'll be doing one by Anne Graham Lotz called I Saw the Lord.  I'm very interested in hearing her message and reading her book.  I think variety in your Biblical teachers is necessary.  I don't want to only learn from one teacher, even as dynamic as she is (BM).  I believe we tend to idolize those who impact in some important ways and it's absolutely necessary to mix it up and hear from different teachers.  I'd also like for us to consider doing a series by a man, maybe someone like Andy Stanley who did a sermon series for our church's Starting Point study.  In any case, I can certainly thank the Lord for pushing me to this Woman's Wed morning study.  I can also thank Him for providing such an enthusiastic teacher in the form of Beth Moore - she reawakened my desire to learn more and try to read and understand the Word in ways I never would have.  Quite frankly I'd had no interest in God or the Bible for more than 20 yrs and I can thank God and praise Him for leading me to a place that has allowed me to feel comfortable and loved and OPEN to learning His Word.  I certainly don't understand it all but I'm leaning to take joy in it and apply its principles to my life.  I believe my life is much richer for it.  I'm on some shaky ground now but as I walk with the Lord I feel the trembles ceasing the further I go.  Amen!

Ok, I think we've covered most of what's been going on lately!  I've been so bummed I haven't been able to post anything in a while due to some computer bugs.  I believe I have properly exterminated them and will be able to post more often and with more photos!  Took some great ones today of the Wild Man at Chuck E Cheese's!  Can't wait to resize and share with you soon!

Stay safe, enjoy the warming weather and happy knitting!

Blessings!

Wednesday Morning Bible Study

I learned some profound things today in Bible Study. It was one of those sessions that felt like she was speaking directly to me. It was about the importance of speaking our belief not just thinking it. (We are doing Beth Moore's Believing God Bible study DVD series). She said thinking things is not exercising Biblical authority. "For reasons ultimately known to God alone, He has ordained that spoken words carry a power, authority, and effectiveness that exceed words we simply think." She says we need to put the Word with our prayer, yet speak it, not think it. She says we are not meant for defeat. It takes a lot of energy to remain defeated and we should throw all our excess energy into our prayer because the enemy is looking to keep us quiet. Our spirits are flammable and all we need to do is light up with the fire of the Word of God and the enemy will notice the Spirit is within us. "Is not my Word like fire, declares the Lord." (Jer 23:29) We are to walk by faith not by sight. And, while we may speak the words we hear from God and they are spoken in our voices, it still sounds like God to the devil. When we speak our prayers, we cast our burdens onto God and the Word. Her whole motto for the session was "I believe therefore I speak." I got so much out of her session today. I couldn't take enough notes. She was truly inspiring!


So then, at home over lunch, with the wild man comfortably ensconced in his chair watching PBS, I picked up So Long, Insecurity (by Beth Moore, of course) and started reading where I had left off. Yet another long moment of feeling like she was writing directly to my heart.

First, she talked about how we can make our own personal crisis just by being insecure from having a real crisis from our past. We have something bad happen and we begin to wait for the other shoe to drop. We end up trapping ourselves in more self-inflicted insecurity that breeds into a vicious circle. She says, "When we become psychologically dependent upon crisis, it actually becomes our life motivator, and if we don't have a present crisis, we'll learn to create one." I couldn't help but draw some parallels there. Ultimately she says these crisis create changes in us and God wants us to use these changes for positive things.

Second, she went straight to the heart of my insecurities and after reading what she wrote I felt a sense of relief (that I'm not the only one) and understanding that my circumstances combined with my personality make me more sensitive to things than most people and how that can really affect my feeling insecure about things (in general). She moved me to tears when she wrote, "He does not take lightly that some of us were raised in a veritable madhouse, he does not take lightly that some of us have been mentally berated or physically beaten or sexually abused or simply abandoned. He does not take lightly that some of us are still trying to recover from that midnight phone call. He does not take lightly that some of us were born with legs that don't work. Or eyes that can't see. Or ears that can't hear. He does not take lightly that some of us have endured the cancer treatment of our very own children. He does not take lightly that some of us, Lord help us, have buried our own children. He knows it's scary to be us."

I had to stop reading at that point and come in here to write down my thoughts because they were all swirling around in my head. My receptors must be on high alert today because everything she's said has hit me right in the heart. In two unrelated areas! I'll have to let all this digest because I don't think I can handle reading anymore today!

Still here...

Hello everyone!  I'm still here but have been unable to post any photos or links to anything.  Also having some issues with my web browser and to top it off, I have a worm in my computer that I just can't get rid of.  Grrr...  This NEVER happened with my old computer!

Anyway, hang in there!  I'm working on fixing all my computer issues!

In the meantime, happy knitting!