Oh, Dear...

After much debate and many bouts of anxiety, I've finally come to the decision that I'm going to have to go back to work much sooner than I had anticipated. The problem isn't the work part because I actually love having some $$ in my pocket and interacting with adults. No, instead it is a much more serious and unexpected issue. I don't want to put the wild man in daycare! Can you imagine??? Those of you who know me are already surprised that I elected to stay home with him in the first place. Now that I am faced with having to put him into unknown and potentially dangerous hands I'm really freaking out. Like "waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweats" freaking out. You seasoned moms who have been dealing with the daycare issue all along might say, "buck up baby, we all have to do it." And you'd be right. Except my heart is breaking. Intellectually, I know it will be good for him. The wild man needs to make some friends and play with kids his own age. He'll be happier for it. He really needs to learn some social skills *seriously needs this* and I know he'll benefit. How do you do it??? How do you choose a complete stranger and trust her with your most precious? Especially in my case, where I've already lost a child and know how that feels. There's no way in this world I would retain my sanity if something were to happen to my little man. I already dipped over that dark edge once. How am I going to survive this? It's just a matter of time before I start getting called in for interviews (I hope). I need to be prepared and I have no clue where to start.

On an up note, the job I'm applying for is Secretary at our local Jr High school. My best girl friend will appreciate the irony in this!!

Got to run...wild man needs to wake up and we have to pick up his daddy! Any advice on the above?? I'm happy to hear all comers!