Since this is the last one of the year, I thought I'd do a recap of the good vs the bad. There's so much of both that I'll have to pick just a few highlights. Here's some of the good in no particular order:
I bravely went where I didn't think I could go in knitting and I'm pretty proud of myself. I've learned new techniques and completed projects I didn't think I could do. My husband had his first year anniversary with the new job. My son turned 2! We were able to make many changes to the house - including moving our bedrooms upstairs and cleaning up the downstairs. We bought a new car. We have food, clothes and warmth when otherwise we could be on the streets. We have family and friends who love us. We are not poor, we are merely broke. We have a reliable vehicle. Gas prices have gone down. Our son has everything he needs and most of what he wants. I have an iPod!
And here's some of the bad, also in no particular order:
I unfortunately continue to have anxiety attacks due to a number of reasons. My father-in-law continues to be very ill and very ill-mannered, not a good combination. My MIL had knee surgery and lost her apartment due to mobility issues. We continue to live with my grumpy father who reminds us on a weekly basis that we have absolutely NO privacy. We live with my father and have no privacy. Did I add, we live with my father and have no privacy? Right, moving on. We are broke. We had to cash in our last remaining savings account to pay the remaining bills and put money down on a car. We have a car payment...and no savings or retirement. iTunes is expensive!
All in all, I think we have more good to be thankful for than bad to bemoan over. I continue to remind myself that my father is having just as tough a time as we are. Whatever we face, he faces. No privacy, all his things have been rearranged, changes have happened everywhere. Regardless of whether these things are positive or not, he has had his world turned upside down over the last several years. He may not accept it with good grace but then again, it's his house and he's letting us do all these things to it so he doesn't have to accept it with good grace. We would be arrogant to assume he's ok with everything that's going on and we need to be cognizant of his position. We need to remember to respect him and understand that he's doing the best he can with this situation. It's not ideal for anyone except for the wild man. He's getting the best of everything and since he's the one we are all doing it for then I guess it's safe to say that everything will work out as it's supposed to. We need to remember that we all love each other and we should continue to try to make this as comfortable a place as we can - for all who live here. No matter how difficult it seems sometimes. And if that means many more sacrifices on our part? Than so be it.
I am grateful to be here. I am at a place where I can say I no longer miss our old house merely that I miss the idea of our old house. Anxiety attacks aside, this is our house now and it is a very good place to be. Wild man is insanely happy here. He has lots of room to play, lots of toys to play with, plenty of food to eat and juice to drink, and a safe and warm environment to live in. He's growing up with people who love him. What more could I ask for?
Here's to the old, bring in the new! I'm pledging to be a better person to my family in the new year. I'm going to show more respect to my father, more love and support to my husband, more attention to my son and I'm going to try to meet my 40th birthday with a sense of humor. Bring on the mammograms!
Happy knitting and have a safe and happy holiday!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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