Small Victories

I've been making some progress with the wild man's behavior. Not sure how long it's going to last but I plan on sticking with it. I know he's only testing his boundaries and I also know I've been reacting very badly. So I decided to try something new. I'm monitoring my behavior. If I react badly to the wild man's negative behavior he escalates. Spanking his hands doesn't work either...in fact, it's only teaching him that it's ok to hit - which of course it isn't. Two negatives DO NOT make a positive! I know most of you are thinking this is all common sense and maybe it is. Trust me, it's not a natural thing for me. My mother's been gone for 15 years so I don't get any kind of feedback. And, since having children was never part of my game plan, I've had many years to become comfortably selfish. So, believe me when I say that this is extremely difficult for me. I need to be conscious every minute of what I'm projecting to my son. To be frank, I'm exhausted. The good news is it is working! Instead of seeing Mumma fly off the hook every time he misbehaves, he's seeing Mumma calmly advising his consequences of bad behavior and actually following through without reiterating or negotiating. He screams and won't stop, his favorite toy is removed from the room for a while. If he continues, more toys disappear until he realizes Mumma is serious about using his indoor voice. I have to say, I've nearly cleaned out his toy box today. But by the end of the morning he had earned two of his toys back by listening and doing the first time I ask instead of the third time. It has been confusing for him yet more pleasant for me. He's been calmer and nicer. We even had a long period of time where we played together and laughed and had lots of fun! It's been a while since we've had much fun together. I was WAY too demanding and not thinking about how my behavior was influencing his. I have a lot of work ahead of me but I'm not going to give up. I want to have fun and snuggle time with my son again. I think I'm on the right track. Like I said, this may seem like a "duh" point with most of you and again, maybe it is. What can I say? I had 12 years with my husband when it was just the two of us and I was perfectly happy. Selfishness is very hard to suppress. The crux of the matter is that he is now more important than anything else in the world and I need to show him that Mumma really can focus on him even when I feel I'm being lured away. Pray for me, people!!! I really need all the help I can get! Pray for patience, tolerance, generosity, calmness and all those things that make a Mom a really good Mom.

Peace and, as always, happy knitting!!!