Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering Gods grace in its various forms.

1 Peter 4:9-10

Friday, December 7, 2007

Boredom & The Past

At least it's Friday, but boredom has set in anyway. My LD and I have been trying to come up with fun things to do when it's too cold to go outside and play. He's still so little that he can't walk in 6" of snow! He gets frustrated and doesn't understand why he can't just go, go, go. So we will be doing blocks and books this afternoon before he goes down for naptime. Then, ahhhh, the freedom! Sort of, first it's laundry, then dishes, sweep the floor, and pick up toys. Then if I'm lucky I can sit down and try to knit some more on my mitten while I catch up on a show I've DVR'd. When LD wakes up, daddy should be home to take over. Then it's off to the kitchen to cook up some dinner.

If anyone ever told me that it was hard work being a stay-at-home mom and I scoffed at them I sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize! Taking care of a precocious one year old is definately fun but hard work! I wouldn't change it for the anyone who's known me long enough, I'm sure that comes as a shock. As recently as 3 years ago you couldn't persuade me to have children.

Hubby and I were on the fast track. Beautiful house, nice things, weekend trips whenever we wanted to, all the trappings of a successful life. Then, BOOM, we found out we were pregnant. My first reaction was "HUH??!!" that wasn't supposed to happen. I was told I wouldn't be able to conceive without fertility drugs which, at the time, was just fine with me. I had built in birth control, or so I thought. It took me about 4 mos to just get used to the idea!

Then the second BOOM. Just before Christmas 2004 we found out that our little baby was going to be born with a life threatening birth defect called CDH. (Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia). He was given a 50% chance of surviving. On top of that, I developed gestational diabetes so I had to be super strict with my diet and give myself insulin shots just to give our little guy a fighting chance.

The short version is this, I was induced at a major medical facility in MA, baby "O" was born after 72 hrs of labor and 3 hrs of pushing, he had several major surgeries, lived on ECMO for 3 weeks (heart/lung bypass machine), had dialysis for several days, and ended up contracting pneumonia. Unbelievably it was the pheumonia that killed him. He had been through so much that his poor little body just couldn't fight anymore. Ironically, he died the week before he was to be transferred to a hospital in our state.

It may have taken me a while to get used to the idea I was pregnant but believe me, once it sunk in that we were going to have a family I was all for it. We were devastated for months. I took a different job in a different town and we did all we could to patch up our lives. Coming home to a house full of baby stuff was unimaginably difficult. We just shoved it all into the nursery and closed the door for months. I would go in every now and then but hubby couldn't. The miracle we had been expecting to bring home with us was gone.

Next installment later when I can manage it. Now on to more happy thoughts! I've managed a few more inches on the second mitten and it is officially the weekend, hubby is home and LD is comfortably installed in his lap watching an old movie. So I'm off to make dinner!

Ciao and happy knitting!

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Books on Tap for 2011

  • Knit Together - Debbie Macomber
  • Captured by Grace - Dr. David Jeremiah
  • Murder Most Foul - A Collection of Great Crime Stories
  • Fireproof - Eric Wilson
  • There's Something About Christmas - Debbie Macomber
  • Questioning Evangelism - Randy Newman
  • Murder Uncorked - Michele Scott
  • A Sacred Sorrow - Michael Card
  • Prayer: Does it Make any Difference? - Philip Yancey
  • Get Out of That Pit - Beth Moore

Books Read in 2011

  • What a Sista Should Do - Tiffany L. Warren
  • 90 Minutes in Heaven - Don Piper
  • Forgotten God - Francis Chan
  • The Purpose Driven Life - Rick Warren
  • Dead Reckoning - Charlaine Harris
  • Shadowfever - Karen Marie Moning
  • Chill Factor - Sandra Brown
  • Heaven Has a Blue Carpet - Sharon Niedzinski
  • Dreamfever - Karen Marie Moning
  • Wednesday Sisters - Meg Waite Clayton
  • Stealing Home - Sherryl Woods
  • Bound for Murder - Laura Childs
  • Bloodfever - Karen Marie Moning
  • Faefever - Karen Marie Moning
  • Darkfever - Karen Marie Moning
  • Under Her Skin - Susan Mallery
  • The Red Pyramid - Rick Riordan
  • No Wonder They Call Him Saviour - Max Lucado
  • I Still Dream About You - Fannie Flagg
  • I Am Number Four - Pittacus Lore
  • The Last Olympian - Rick Riordan
  • Spider Bones - Kathy Reichs
  • A Thread So Thin - Marie Bostwick
  • The Battle of the Labyrinth - Rick Riordan
  • The Search - Nora Roberts
  • The Titan's Curse - Rick Riordan
  • Wicked Appetite - Janet Evanovich
  • The Sea of Monsters - Rick Riordan
  • Awakened - PC & Kristen Cast
  • The Lightning Thief - Rick Riordan
  • Photo Finished - Larua Childs
  • Keepsake Crimes - Laura Childs
  • Sizzling Sixteen - Janet Evanovich
  • The Icing on the Cupcake - Jennifer Ross
  • Fleece Navidad - Maggie Sefton
  • Dyer Consequences - Maggie Sefton
  • The Darling Dahlias and the Cucumber Tree - Susan Wittig Albert
  • Heaven Has a Blue Carpet - Sharon Niedzinski
  • Dreamfever - Karen Marie Moning

Books Read in 2010

  • The Yada Yado Prayer Group - Netta Jackson
  • Silver Borne - Patricia Briggs
  • The Hole in Our Gospel - Richard Stearns
  • A Winter Marriage - Kerry Hardie
  • So Long, Insecurity - Beth Moore
  • Knit the Season - Kate Jacobs
  • Dead and Berried - Karen MacInerney
  • Murder on the Rocks - Karen MacInerney
  • where do i go - Netta Jackson
  • be sweet - diane hunt
  • The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown
  • Raven - Allison Van Deipen
  • Push (Precious) - sapphire
  • Faces of the Gone - Brad Parks
  • The Lace Reader - Brunonia Barry
  • Burning Lamp - Amanda Quick
  • Fired Up - Jayne Ann Krentz
  • The School of Essential Ingredients - Erica Bauermeister
  • Matters Arising - Sarah Harrison
  • The Sheen on the Silk - Anne Perry
  • I Saw the Lord - Anne Graham Lotz
  • The Dangerous Protector - Janet Chapman
  • The Seduction of His Wife - Janet Chapman
  • Re-reading all the Tintin graphic novels - Herge
  • The Sugar Queen - Sarah Addison Allen
  • the last time i saw you - Elizabeth Berg
  • Garden Spells - Sarah Addison Allen
  • Wild Ride - Jennifer Crusie & Bob Mayer
  • Dead in the Family - Charlaine Harris
  • The Girl Who Chased the Moon - Sarah Addison Allen
  • Grave Secret - Charlaine Harris
  • Crawl Space - Sarah Graves
  • The Honey Thief - Elizabeth Graver
  • The Otherworldlies - Jennifer Anne Kogler
  • Saving CeeCee Honeycutt - Beth Hoffman
  • A Face at the Window - Sarah Graves
  • Draycott Eternal - Christina Skye
  • Shelter Mountain - Robin Carr
  • Virgin River - Robyn Carr
  • Death by Cashmere - Sally Goldenbaum
  • An Ice Cold Grave - Charlaine Harris
  • Grave Surprise - Charlaine Harris
  • Grave Sight - Charlaine Harris