On another note, we've also been having car trouble. The worst time of year for it to happen - when we have no money. What a difference in lifestyle from just a year ago...
Hubby's gone through bankruptcy and we've lost our house. Hubby switched jobs so he could be closer to home and be with us every night but the downfall is much less income. Believe me, I'd rather have him home every night at 5pm then having him call from a store 5 hrs away saying he'd be home by 10 or 11pm. Unfortunately we've had to make some painful sacrifices. It's hard on both of us and sometimes I don't think we really listen to each other any more. Not just to what we have to say to each other but how we say it. There's a lot of hurt feelings and guilty feelings. Hubby feels like he let us down by not providing enough for us to be able to keep our home. I would rather be here than where we were. He was miserable and stressed all the time. Not a good way to raise a baby. Now it's like, it is what it is - we're poor and dependant upon family to house us and there is nothing we can do about it for a long time. The most important thing is that LD is being raised in a home where everyone loves him. It is all about him after all! So now you know the last part of my story - I'm grieving our old life and our house along with the loss of our first son. LD was attacked by a dog we'd had for 10 yrs and lost part of his ear. We put the dog down and ever since we've been super protective of him. I don't want to suffocate him yet I want to protect him, too.
The anxiety attacks have been happening since the dog attack. I'd only had one prior to that and it was several months after we lost our first. Not fun in any way. They are painful and scary and I had to think that I have to depend on medication to control them. Fortunately it's not something I have to take everyday...only when I feel an attack coming on or when I'm particulary upset.
Man, I never used to be this way. I was fun to hang around with. Always up for going out and having fun. Hubby and I used to have so much fun together. I really miss that about us. And yet, as painful as the last two plus years have been, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even having to suffer through anxiety attacks every now and then. Because if I did trade it all in, I wouldn't have my LD, and he's the best part of me. (He seems to have my temper though, oops!)
Here he is modeling the headband I made for our niece for Christmas! Something I can embarass him with the first time he brings home a date!
I'm still working on that sweater and trying to finish the hat. Somehow the will to do it has slipped away. I'm probably just burnt out with all the knitting I've been doing lately. I want to just get it done so I can start some new crochet projects. I'd like to make myself a simple tam. Maybe after the Christmas craze is finished!
Ciao and Happy Knitting! It's way past my bedtime!